Shut Me Up! But you can't shut me up! I have my stand. I believe it. Winds may blow. Tides may turn. But never my ground.
Philippine Standard Time
Ola!!! Greetings to everyone. Am standing here silently, can't anyone recognize me. "God created us not to be like fat ducks waddling in the mud but to be like eagles destined to rise above." I want to see my self soaring beyond blue skies in the future. Come fly with me..
"ALL WE NEED IS AN OPEN MIND IN JUDGING EVERYTHING."
This site is dedicated to family, to my friends and especially to MARLYN who has been my ispiration, my strength, my friend and my LOVE.
YOu might recognize my blog's quite messy, I like being one but naturally am a natural lonewolf.
This blog contains all the author's random musings about his world, his arts, his music, his culture and his humanity most especially about the poor people in the whole world. The author did not come from golden roots but he believed that he's destined to have golden leaves.
________
"When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her.
It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed." ~ Mother Theresa
Once God has touched you, you’ll
never be the same.
"There's no time to waste, there's so much to celebrate."
Yes, there's so much to celebrate to life than any other else in this world. When I was so preoccupied with things that this human heart crave for, I learned that everything was dull, lifeless and empty. Vague as it may appear but I knew i already lost something that was meant to be worth rejoicing at that moment. The details no matter how visible they were, my eyes were yet stigmatized by an obvious spectacle. Yes..it was near but my eyes are focus on something far beyond this reason could attain.
But lately, realization spanked me in my face. It's as if everything is clear. The fog is removed. I learned to value life not because life has more to offer but it's that I can offer life, a life that is far beyond this little hands of mine can give. I understand that each little act of kindness in itself the blood of life, the one that sustains all. I wondered why our existence continues to run its phase here on earth and it dawned upon me that it's because of those little kindness that I gave and received everday. Such kindness too little to add a weight on the scale yet too big the equivalent in the heart of those needing it and giving it. To give means not to love but sustain love. Love, the all powerful life source where humanity gets its strength and survival continually begets life.
Before I don't know where can i find such inner peace and communion. The one intimate relationship that this heart longly search. I tried everything to find this peace. And I realized that I found it in the smiles of a pupil, in the corners of the classroom, in the piles of books, journals and papers. I just laughed the idea but i savored every moment of it.The hands of God working here inside this place of solitude. I valued each of it. The work of the innocence was my work of ignorance dawned by mystical knowledge. Knowledge that only God can offer. The children I am handling now are the incense offering that i will offer in the altar of the Most Loving Father. And this children in whom I sow the seeds of love and joy will grow and rise with their Father. And I, being the gardener will watch them. For once in my life, I somehow touched lives that touched also mine.
I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt so that you would no longer be slaves to the Egyptians; I broke the bars of your yoke and enabled you to walk with heads held high.
~ Leviticus 26:13
_______________
It was yesterday. It appeared just like those ordinary days that I had everyday. Great sunshine in the window that gently tugged you out from the warm embrace of the blanket. But I knew that the day brought with it mixed emotions of fear, excitement and uncertainty. Hmm..I watched outside the window and contemplate. I could almost hear the silent and yet determined beatings of my heart. Will I run or hide from this feeling? An ordeal of emotions on blank empty stares catching a glimpse of hope. I didn't know how many times I depend on the temporary relief of sigh. Well, today was the so called "judgment day". I will face now my worst fears and uncertainties trying to feel inside me the undauntedness promised by my long and seemingly endless training as a Montessori educator. Today was the day when I had to end my fear and doubt and rely on the invested "credibility" I was keeping.
I arrived at school full of hope yet standing on shaky grounds. "God, I need a promise." We had our devotions and I prayed that let this start of the day may a prologue of success. The Bible run with this verse from Leviticus, "I broke the bars of your yoke and enabled you to walk with heads held high." I asked myself and God if this was the promise I was praying. A silent voice of reassurance inside was all I need for the feeling to suffice. And it's there. Thanks Lord. When the clock strikes at the hour of ten, I, with some co-trainees, was called for the demo exam to start.
For 13 long and painful hours this trial dragged all the strengths I had. Not only me but my friends as well. Those long hours were hours spend in total desolation and fear and with prayer as the only life source we clinged that this ordeal may end. But I knew that this day will end. It will realle end. And whatever the result may be, I know it's a God-woven plan. Trust. Hope.
How did we end? Hmmm..VICTORIOUS! YEAH! VICTORIOUS! I passed. We passed. God is good all the time. The feeling is just so exhilirating. The feeling of being the victor. It's so intoxicating. At least I never expected things to happen as smooth and "seemingly" planned. I knew God works His way everyday but He worked terribly good that day. And so was I. Thanks God.
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow."
~ Albert Einstein
____________
HELLO WORLD!!!!
Well, that's all I can say after I have not been in my page for some quite a long time already. I know I really miss a lot of friends and associates. Well, that's life and you really just don't know how unpredictable things go. Well, just this morning our exam was postponed. Isn't that great? Duh..well, it might sound tempting but quite frustrating since it's just prolonging the agony. Do you agree? Hmmm..This week was rather useless and awkward for me. Actually, this week marked the most controversial day in Philippine history and I am talking about the election. *sigh* It's just simple I haven't voted and I was so aggravated by this. Hmm..the reason is obvious, my precious right was just squandered for the reason which I felt so acceptable and reasonable but so lame. It's just because I was so slothful to go to the place I was registered. C'mon, it was reasonable. wasn't it? Well, talking about unwarranted raison d'être.
The core reason why I didn't vote was actually the trust was just so minimal and I just can't take the guilt when I cast the last sensible and plausible piece of paper I hoped can change my country. Superficial for a rationale but I am so deep for my cause. I just can't be hypocrite but I already lost my conviction not for the politicians but for the series of events that will happen after and herewith. I know my one vote can change the countenance of our country but the ears can't hear the complains and hullabaloos because it will be just plugged sooner or later again by extreme politicking. Such an endless plead. Empty promises requires empty ballots. I know right now as the ballot counting runs and all the eyes are focused on the election, there's someone right there in the corner benign enough to utter a word of entreaty for not a crumb of bread touched his lips. Can the aftermath promises of politics fill those empty hands and stomach? Or better yet, can politics satiate those unquenchable thirst even with a single drop of fulfillment? Let's be srupulous about it for the hungry populace are the ones suffering. The poor paid the price of their trust. All's well that ends well? Exasperating!
Our country now is undergoing a painful surgery hoping that through this regimen she will be reborn again fresh and dignified. The Filipino people are always vigilant for such a therapy but never an ailment was remedied. The cancer in the society that Rizal talked about was actually lurking in the host and worst of this is it's becoming unvulnerable. The truth is we are like living carcasses waiting for our pathetic end. I hope that as life goes even the hope that the people vigilantly handles will not be robbed from them by those empty politickings. I might sound bias and judgmental but that's what my regard can utter.
I am praying that as each ballot is counted, may each utterance be a ladder that can aid my fellow countrymen to a better country full of hope, with promises fulfilled, with hearts full of patriotism and with souls rekindled again by trust. Let this prayer be our hope.
phew...It's been how many days since I had my post. Hmmm..Grrr...I am already twisted. Can you imagine yourself being absent from work for how many days? My boss has been looking for me and I can feel the pressure. The pressure of work is agitating and irritating at the same time. But of course I just simply love my work. Grrr..damn that halo-halo, just too sweet and I got what I deserved a tonsilitis. That's why I was bedridden for 5 days. Duh! Just a tiny tonsil and caused so much a nuisance in my system. Well, as I was in my bed during those times, i was left to ponder on things especially of little things in life. And voila! I realized that I should always offer best regards or importance to whichever things life may bring to me. *sigh* I knew it's quite intimidating but such appeal for truth is preventive rather than curative. Immature as I am, I also have my own "maturity" which I distinguished my principles. Well..Life is just a summary of man's own beliefs or principles in life. His life is his choice.
To save the world requires faith and courage: faith in reason,
and courage to proclaim what reason shows to be true. ~ Bertrand Russell
________________
I don't know how to say it but I don't like my country when it's the election period. For me this is a period of intense poverty, a time where poor souls suffer because they are being devoured by those ignorant politicians. They said that they symphatized with their fellow countrymen but knowingly and willingly they ignored them and are rather too preoccupied with their political regimens and tactics. Hypocrisy is an understatement to describe such. Election day here in Philippines is a day of infamy. A day of loss of reasons. The day of ignoramuses who clutched every aspect of brazeness, immoral principles and perpetual corruptions of human and national treasury.
The media is overwhelming with such evidences and I somehow lost my trust to these insincerities. I dont' know if I can still trust my fellow countrymen especially during these dark age. True colors are unveiled moment by moment as this epoch of infidelity drags from day to day. Those who hope for change just go on hoping and dreaming. Dreaming their wits out for the seemingly impossible reformations the government promised. These politicians lost their beliefs and principles and we the people of this poor country aggravates these illusions of hope to the point we lost everything we had, even our reason.
“Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has.”
____________
I was so exasperated this afternoon when I felt some envy and jealousy among some of my friends. They were sort of complaining about the schedule of our training exam. I knew that they were my friends and it was frustrating to accept in my thoughts that such feelings dwell in their hearts. I knew that what we were doing will affect each of our performances but such compromises (especially when said in front of you although not directly) was rather unethical and unfriendly. I don't know if these friends of mine really care about this friendship for I certainly do. One cycle of calendar was not such a short time for such friendship. But I was really confused by that time if they were really considering these sentiments I had now.
Envy no wonder is one of the seven deadly sins for it really can destroy everything. For the things you found good and worth cherishing were actually being unveiled to you as rather a shadow of hypocrisy. I don't want to stain this friendship with such a superficial bravado. I want my friends. Although I am not desperate for them. But I just want to keep them. I hope they too.
Death ends a life, not a relationship. ~Jack Lemmon
_______________
Last night I had seen the news on the TV which deals mostly about politics. Although I understand that it's the "hot" stuff nowadays but that doesn't mean that they will deal with it most of the time. It's too tiring to hear and it's already annoying in fact, to listen to it everyday. News about Manny Pacquiao's running, Erap's birthday blah-blah and other political blah-blahs. And there's one thing that send my ears ringing, and that's when DOJ Secretary Gonzales commented about Julia Campbell's being careless that eventually led to her sad death. Gonzales doesn't even care about the feelings of those dead's relatives and those people who made Julia special in their lives. I was really pissed off by Gonzales' statements. He's just so insensitve and so "pakialamero". He's even commenting about Goma's political ploys. Although I don't care about Goma but Gonzales is just so shallow. I hate him.
Well, here's my poem for Ms. Julia Campbell for being so good to my fellow countrymen and for being a good peace volunteer.
THY PEACE
Death will not be the end but life beyond's the prize sorrow will not be thy consolation but God's embrace will suffice
thy peace bestowed upon our lands foreign race you may in one's sight but a native friend in our heart though blood spilled from thy body but unblemished soul you'll be.
your peace offered to us all may be the seed planted in our poor souls...
![[Valid RSS]](valid-rss.png "Validate my RSS feed")
